Scared to Lose

Losing weight has been an ongoing battle, I seem to go strong for a little while and then let it all go. I can get a good 15lb loss before I stop trying and gain it all back. I don’t know why, it may be that I’m waiting for someone else to join me in losing weight, it might be because I’m afraid my friends and family won’t like who I am if my appearance changes, I think a big reason I don’t fully commit is because I am afraid of the excess skin that I will be left with at the end, I have about 100lbs to lose to hit the healthy range for my age and height. I have seen many of my favourite fitness Instagramers own their excess skin and others who have it surgically removed and I applaud them all for their efforts and their individual decisions, for some reason I can’t get over the thought of excess skin! I was talking to my mother about these fears and she told me “If someone treats you badly for making yourself healthier, is that someone that you want in your life? And as for the loose skin you can have it removed if it bothers you.” She is of course right (those dang moms always knowing what to say!) I told her that I was ultimately afraid of going in for skin removal surgery and never coming back out again and I just have to much to do for that to happen! *Side-note: I’m the girl who was terrified of having an aneurysm during child birth and have had two babies safely* And to this she said, “Well, that could happen, but what would you rather, be the healthiest you that you could be and go in for skin removal and have a very slim chance of dieing OR keep going on the unhealthy path you’re on and die that way.” …Jerk mom strikes again with her rationality.

So here I am for the millionth time declaring “This is going to be my last start, I won’t stop this time, I am going to live a healthy life!” I am going to do my best and put all my effort into losing the fat that is hurting my body.

Maximum Effort,
-Megan

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Creative Ways to Lose Weight and Track It

Trying to make weight loss fun is not always easy and ideas of fun do differ from person to person. Here are some of my ideas of Fun Fitness:

-Just Dance for X-Box Kinect-I can personally burn about 700-800cals in about 2 hours
-I love to walk and just downloaded Pokémon Go the other day and have burned about 2,500cals over the past day and a half maybe (YAY!) If I keep going on long PokéWalks everyday and keep within my daily calorie goals than I should be able to lose some serious weight!

Those are my two favourite ways to exercise right now. To track my progress I have started using a blank sketchbook and on four of the pages I have been building myself a new weight loss board game (my old one is posted at like the beginning of this blog). I’ll be posting photos when it’s all done. I find the weight loss board game to be a fun way to see how much weight I have lost and where I am going.

I am seriously going to try to post more often!

Maximum Effort,
-Megan Kelly

Weight Loss…*sigh*

I am internally in love with the idea of me losing weight, getting healthier, looking better (damn right I want that benefit too!) so why am I not committing 100%?! Not doing everything I am capable of is actually really bothering me! Eating an entire bag of Veggie Straws in one sitting after I weighed in and saw a 14lb loss…can you say self sabotage? I can’t figure out why I’m doing this to myself, I have more than enough hours in my day to be working out, eating healthy isn’t out of reach, so what is my problem?!

I so badly want to put my all into this, I would LOOOOVE to see the 100s by the end of the summer but if I keep sabotaging myself I won’t be seeing those numbers for sure. It’s like I’m on an escalator on my way to reaching my goals and instead of enjoying the ride I’m trying to fight it and walk down. It feels like I’m fighting myself tooth and nail…not to succeed but to fail, how insane is that? If I actually just put the time and heart into eating healthy and exercising I can stop beating myself up for not doing these things!

Three new mini goals:
-from now until next Tuesday exercise everyday except for one Rest Day
-from now until next Tuesday eat healthy everyday with one REASONABLE treat meal
-In addition to tracking on MFP I will post photos of all the food I eat on Instagram (visually accountable)

Now I shall try to achieve those goals over this next week and see what kind of results I can obtain!

Maximum Effort,
-Megan Kelly

I Can Do This…If I Just Do It.

I am sitting here on maternity leave and lets be real, I have time. I have a fussy lil munchkin and it’s summer holiday for my older minion but I have time. I have been sitting here watching Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition (like fav show by the way) and thinking “oh I wish I could do that, it would be so cool to have Chris and Heidi Powell help me transform, those people are so lucky!” In all honesty I have quite a few hours in the day that I can be moving and burning calories, although they may not be consecutive hours they are still in there, I could be working out for an hour in the morning, an hour in the afternoon and an hour in the evening, those are usually natural nap times for da baby and that would give me three solid hours to burn some calories which should be more than enough and to keep to a meal plan I would be rocking and/or rolling! Also doing fun workouts that really burn calories like Just Dance will have my daughter wanting to join in on the fun too!

So here’s to recognizing the time I have and trying to utilize my hours to my advantage, I’m trying to emerge from the lazy haze and fix my thinking, I really want to be better so I need to stop convincing myself that I don’t have the time or tools to do so.

Maximum Effort,
-Megan Kelly

I Can’t Write Anything!

I have like 4 blog post drafts started and I can’t seem to get the words to come out right! All my thoughts start off great and then seem to merge and change into a different thought and it’s all jumbled and crazy and I don’t know what to do!!!

*le sigh*

I’ll just have to keep writing until I get something good out.

Maximum Effort,
-Megan Kelly

Weight Loss Journal

I am still working on my goals and rewards. I have my goals set out and am working on them but am still having some troubles coming up with appropriate/motivating rewards. I know that “being healthy should be motivation enough” but really for some of us it isn’t, and I’m not saying that anyone WANTS to be unhealthy but in a lot of us there is a mental block. Tearing down that mental wall is different for everyone, one person might need to take the wall down brick by brick and another person could come in like a wrecking ball 😉 and knock that wall down and just go for it! That’s why I don’t like when people try to make blanket statements about overweight people because for each of us it’s different, someone might give it one go and hit their goals without giving up but many people like myself have to try and try again until we really become successful, I mean I have been at it in all honesty on and off for probably about 9 years. So that’s why this time I’m really trying to take my time to better conquer my food and my exercise and my mental battles with them, I don’t want to rush it again, get too overwhelmed and just give up, I need my life to change and the time I feel is now. Well anywho! That turned into a bit of a rant now didn’t it?

Here is probably what you’ve come for:

I got this old sketchbook I had from back in college and decided since it was almost empty I’d make it into an “Artful Weight Loss Journal” which means I’m gonna have fun recording my journey!

This is the front cover, just plain black, I think I might try to jazz it up in the future:

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Then on the inside cover I printed out a bunch of funny lil fitness memes I liked and glued them into a bit of a collage:

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On the first page I had printed out some Instagram photos from the last time I lose weight and some of the tasty things I made just for some “you can do it!” motivation:

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I also added in a BMI chart I’ve had for YEARS that my mother gave me and will be keeping track to see myself get out of the obese/morbidly obese section and into the healthy weight range:

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Then yesterday I had a MAGNIFICENT idea! I wanted a poutine REAL bad! Like poutine is in my top 3 favourite foods and I could eat a good one everyday of the week if I could! Hahaha but since I am really trying to focus and not stray (cause lets be honest if I got a poutine not only would it be a like 1,000 calories alone, I’d get a pop, maybe an ice cream and hell throw in a bag of chips and a chocolate bar while we’re at it for later!) I decided, why not draw my craving?! I looooooove to draw and when I draw I am distracted and I don’t eat since I’m afraid something will get onto my piece so that’s what I did. I drew a poutine:

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And then I coloured it…I am getting used to colouring (it’s not really my thing just yet):

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Sooooo yeah, that is my Artful Weight Loss Journal so far! I’m sure I will have a TON of craving drawings in there so that should be lots of fun…I might need to get a bigger pack of pencil crayons!

What do you guys think of the Artful Weight Loss Journal? Would anyone be interested if I was to do some YouTube videos as kind of a “Journal With Me” or “Journal Ideas” let me know!

Maximum Effort,
Megan Kelly

I Think I’m Ready

I believe I am ready.

Ready to be who I really am. I think that I have been someone else for so long that I am now just so curious to see who I was really supposed to be. Maybe more confident, comfortable with who I am on the inside, more true to myself, maybe outgoing and fun. Right now I am so reserved and self conscious and afraid to be whole heartedly myself.

I think for me personally losing my excess weight will push me to become who I was actually meant to be. I want to be healthy and I want to be strong, I don’t want to be out of breath so easy and tired so fast. I am ready to experience life the way I dream to.

This is the last start, this is the journey now, the journey to the life I was intended to have.

Maximum Effort,
Megan Kelly

 

The Magic of Lettuce

I’m working on my new goals/rewards/plans post but in the meantime…Let’s talk about food! More specifically lettuce. I’ve been using lettuce as a substitute for bread and other grains. It’s great because you can really put anything into a salad!

Types of salads I’ve made/ideas for more salads:
-Taco Salad
-Steak Salad
-Spicy Chicken Salad
-Hamburger Salad
-Chicken Nugget Ranch Salad
-Hotdog Salad
-BLT Salad
There are so many options!

And I literally just made a Chicken and Cheese Taquito Salad! My mom bought me taquitos yesterday because they are like one of my FAVOURITE things to eat, usually though I put like 10 on a plate with like a bowl of sour cream next to them and just go to town! I’m really trying to change those ways however so I can accomplish my goals.

Now what I have found about salads is that you can take the recommended serving size of a food, put it on a bed of lettuce and it looks like a HUGE amount of food! Like the Taquito serving size for the particular kind I buy is 3 Taquitos, so to me 3 lil Taquitos on a plate is going to look piddly and my brain is going to convince me that it isn’t enough food to fill me, but with a whole bunch of lettuce those 3 Taquitos get cut up and thrown around and instantly you look like you have a giant meal! Yum!

I am finding this a really good and tasty method for myself since I have troubles with quitting certain foods…we’ve been in a very long relationship together so we’re trying to move on, I to healthier food and it to…I don’t know where. So let me know if you give the lettuce trick a try and how you like it!

Maximum Effort,
Megan Kelly

Breaking It Down, So I Can Work It Out

I am a planner. I have planned my weight loss expertly several times, honestly with the amount of effort I’ve put into planning I should have lost this weight a loooong time ago! Although I am a phenomenal planner, I am in fact horrible with consistency and follow through when it comes to my health and fitness.

I know that I have about 105lbs to lose to be in the healthy weight range for my age and height (the longer I put this off the higher that number is going to get). Now I’ve continually approached my weight loss as a whole: “I have 105lbs to lose so I need to lose it in these increments by these dates, etc.” and I plan it down to the letter, reflecting on this I am thinking that although it might be good to have an overall plan thought out I don’t think that having that staring me in the face day in and day out is helping me at all. I feel like it is actually becoming overly daunting so I try not to look at it and ignore it while I’m not exercising and eating terribly.

The solution? Well I don’t know if it’s a solution but I am going to try to have my overall/longterm plan written down in a drawer somewhere and split it up into smaller more manageable sections so that I can feel less intimidated and more like I have the ability to reach the goals set out.

Well I am off to work on my plans and I shall share them with you in my next post!

Maximum Effort,
-Megan Kelly

Yes I Can, No I Can’t

Healthy eating and exercise come insanely easy to me, you wouldn’t know that if you saw me though because I weigh in around 225lbs and it shows on this gawgeous frame o’ mine. 😉

I really do enjoy making healthy recipes, trying to make a tasty salad with different ingredients, I am even heavily attracted to running (say what?!). So why do I allow my BMI to continue to comfortably hang out in the morbidly obese club? …I really don’t know why. I’m sitting here with veggies in my fridge that I’m actually fantasizing about, meanwhile I just convinced myself yesterday that I needed cake…and ice cream.

I actually feel that it takes more effort on my part to live the unhealthy life, having to constantly spend money on terrible food that messes with my insides like a kid in a control room. When I eat too much processed junky stuff I get the divine pleasure of sitting in the bathroom forever and/or needing to keep taking headache medication till my migraines decide to pack up and leave my bitty head. My personal favourite horrifying feeling is a side effect of them bad foods is when my heart feels like it’s trying to escape from my chest like the little alien do from the Alien movies (such a nasty mental image *shudder*).

I have a closet literally half full of workout clothes, several exercise DVDs and video games, and exercise equipment? Girl, you know I got that! I have plans written out as to how I want to go about losin’ some poundage and they read like love letters, such nice penmanship, every word, every letter completely thought out…buuuut every day this past week I’ve been gettin’ that Starbucks Frappuccino love on (even upped my does to a Venti if you can believe it!)

With all the positives I have going on for me for some reason I let the negatives be my best friend, the negatives and I are toight like a toiger (10 points if you know the movie)! So I don’t know how I’m going to kick my negs to the curb and invite the positive gang to come in and play! I’ll keep a log of how we’re getting along and maybe together we can keep the junk crew out of our pillow fort.

Maximum Effort,

Megan Kelly